The Shape of a Heart

As I walked down the hallways of a busy child care center last week, I was surrounded by dozens of pink, white, red and lilac-blue hearts that adorned each class’s bulletin board. From the carefully printed and precisely-cut school-age classroom displays to the toddler doorways covered in randomly placed pink and white scraps of paper buried underneath an excess of glue and glitter, there was a heart explosion going on.  Out in the lobby, child-sized furniture was transformed into a post office where the children could “mail” their cards to friends and families. Heart-shaped mobiles and love-themed banners hung from the ceilings. Though it’s been a while since I ran the office of an early care center or assembled a group of 4-year-olds around low tables filled with construction paper, scissors, glue sticks and markers, I’m glad that these activities still go on in thousands of schools, centers and after-school programs during the weeks preceding the 14^th of February. Red, pink and purple papers, shiny stickers… heart-shaped drawings, lacy doilies and jumbled collages…the colors and sizes vary, but the familiar heart- shape dominates the decorations. Card-making is on the lesson plans for many a classroom.  If we are fortunate enough to be friends with some small humans or have children or grandchildren, we might even receive one of these creations: a slightly misshapen, glue heavy, paint-globbed heart that will find its way into our own hearts and onto our refrigerator doors.

I will admire and cherish any heart-shaped sentiments that may come my way whether in a shiny red box of dark chocolates or a pun-filled card from a certain relative…but I wonder, as I look on the many heart-shaped images that flood the world this time of the year, and I wonder… what shape is a heart? Tradition and commercial marketing dictate the familiar shape- symmetrical, rounded and plump, with a sharp point at one end.  Their sizes range from tiny message-laden candies to huge glittery balloons.  Their colors are usually restricted to the red and pink side of the color wheel, with a few white or purple shades thrown in for variety.  Carefully crafted Valentines or those with the imprints of chubby hands with misshaped and inventive spelling—they all include the familiar Valentine-symbol hearts we know so well.  Again I wonder, what is the true shape of a heart? These mass-produced shapes bear little resemblance to any anatomical heart of course.  And they cannot truly capture the depth and beauty of the sentiment they are designed to portray. Just what shape is a heart?  I realize that my vision needs to be sharpened.  In something akin to searching within those Hidden Pictures puzzles that I treasured as a child, I dive into a February challenge: to find the shape of a heart in the obvious and the unexpected places.

My mind returns to that highly-decorated children’s center as I imagine myself once again in the hallways. This time, I look behind and beyond the dozens of hearts that greet visitors and families.  I see the shape of a heart in the hands of those who devote their days to the smallest of people in the largest of ways.  The minds that planned the lessons, the hands that assembled the materials, the spirits of patience and joy that infuse those who are called to teach small souls—there are dozens of hearts hidden there.  Teaching the very young requires a special kind of heart, a heart that knows that even though the children may not remember a certain teacher or a specific activity, they will always remember the heart-shaped love that lingered around the art table, during clean-up times and in the book corner. Hearts push swings or bandage scraped knees. Hearts are drawn in the sand box and button up coats against a raw February wind.

I see the shape of a heart in the comings and goings of hard-working, sometimes harried parents, who leave little pieces of their hearts, their children, behind while they earn their daily living. I walk along behind a tender mother-heart who waits while a toddler slowly makes her way down the hall even though that journey eats into a busy schedule. I see hearts reflected in the “good-bye window” when a father turns and blows a final kiss to the teary three-year old waiting there.  It take a generous and courageous heart to trust others with the care of those most dear to us.

There near a classroom doorway is a reminder of upcoming family conferences and a sign-up schedule. I look more closely….I can just make out the shadow of a heart on that page, a watermark of love imprinted into that conscientious and caring practice. I say a quick prayer for the scrawled in names of people I do not know.  I am thankful for all who carve out time to put a child front and center, to share stories and advice, and to nurture her along her way.

A heart shape aura hovers over the parking lot as caregivers carefully buckle protesting children into their snug and safe car seats while other parents hold tiny hands, shoulder backpacks and begin the long walk home together.  Safety and security are embedded in those hearts. It it is easy to imagine heart-shaped pathways leading out the doorway and down the street, accompanying weary families to their homes.

I hear a heartfelt sigh of satisfaction and wonder about the source of this strangely familiar sound.  Then I realize it is my own heart settling and my own breath sighing as I sink into a comforting realization. One has only to shift one’s vision slightly in order to see hearts of all kinds and sizes and shapes.  I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes from The Little Prince:  It is only with the heart that one can see clearly.  What is essential is invisible to the eye.”¹  

I am grateful for those simple reminders of love that greeted me last week.  At the same time, I pull back from drifting into mere sentimentality and remind myself of my original challenge: to find the shape of a heart in both the obvious and the unexpected places. The shape of a heart is often difficult to see in a world where viewpoints clash and accusations and antagonism flares.  It is easy to miss the imprint of Love that undergirds all of us when harsh rhetoric, sarcasm and cynicism rise to the top. I take a look around me now, many miles and days away from last week’s heart-shaped overload. Today, there are no imprinted trite or sentimental sayings neatly laid out on a plate of sugary candies. Finding the shape of a heart is often hard work but it has never been more essential.  It is not done with a quick glance or a dismissive assumption. It is not found by sticking to the same, worn pathways. There are no purple, pink or crimson-colored shapes anywhere to be seen in my search for the shape of a heart, for the evidence of Love. There is not a drop of paint or glitter to be found.  And yet, and yet… surely I can catch a glimpse of something heart-shaped, tender and compassionate that is yet to be discovered among the puzzle of my life and the tangle of current events. Surely I can sharpen my own vision and find a hidden picture of the wholeness of life and love that spiritual writers insist is possible. ² With a heart-linked eye, I turn towards the essential things once again.  My heart-shaped quest will not end when this year’s Valentines are filed away and decorations are discarded. It is just beginning.

Follow the way of love… 1 Corinthians 14:1a

Reflection Question:

Seeing with the heart, and seeing hearts hidden in the everyday fabric of life… two spiritual practices that can enrich our lives.  How might you sharpen your heart’s eye to see what you perceive as essential more clearly?

¹ The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

² Hidden Wholeness is a spiritual concept described by writers such as Thomas Merton, Parker Palmer and many others.

Photo by Renee Fisher on Unsplash